NOTES FROM THE TOUR MANAGER

DAY 1- 3 OCTOBER

Alarm goes off at 3.45am...not that I went to sleep that night. Pick up Corby on the way to the club. Bleary-eyed tour party arrive in dribs and drabs and miraculously we leave for Gatwick on time. I manage to grab an exit seat on the flight over and use strangers shoulder next to me as a pillow. Ed, Abbo, Mrs. Abbo (!), and a few others are refused drink halfway through flight. I'm glad they all took time to read the 'code of conduct' for the tour......

The heat hits us as we get off the plane. We all manage to retrieve our luggage and soon enough we are arriving at the Sunset Crest resort where some of our playing members are soon playing touch rugby on the lawns.....hmmmm....32C with 90% humidity. The game is finally halted when some players start to see black spots before their eyes.

DAY 2 - 4th OCTOBER

Cant really remember what I did this day. I do remember that most of us were up at 5am...jet lag in full flow.....some of us drinking beer at 8am on the beach.......paradise!! I've now been sweating for 36 hours.

Abbo and Banana........

DAY 3 - 5th OCTOBER

KEW V DOVER CC

R Patel (c), R Varney, C Moore, N Houlton, M Pither, K Dattani

P Berg, S David, R Maier, E Griffin

I'm captain today for the first game. Up early again and catch a couple of guys at the pool. Tell Kish that his main role is that of wicketkeeper. He seems to be fine with that (how wrong was I!!!). Whilst having breakfast with Chris and Sal we witness the biggest tropical downpour I've ever seen. Huge doubts about whether we will play today but we set off on time of the game. When we get there there's noone to be seen (a regular occurrence on this tour). The strip is basically 4 inches of deep mud. Some of the guys start playing rugby again...more black spots. With the help of several tonnes of grass cuttings and an ancient roller the groundsman does wonders and we are allowed to start a 30 over game at 1.30pm. I lose the toss and we are put into to bat. Yours truly decides to lead from the front and apart from a rasping cover drive to the boundary, my innings amounts to sweet F.A. Good contributions from Vanilla and Reg plus a mighty innings of 49 by Mooro (5 sixes) takes us to a very respectable score of 171-6 off our 30. In return, we bowl and field well (Bergy is awesome behind the stumps) and are ahead of the game with 12 overs left. Steve has only gone for 18 runs off his first 5 overs. His last over though was, dare I say it, Hickman-esque. The poor fella goes for 26 runs which includes 4 consecutive huge sixes- the last of which is halfway to Mars by now. Oppo now in driving seat and get to their target with a couple of overs to spare. We're all disappointed but at least we didn't embarrass ourselves. Post match hospitality was superb- lots of cold beer and good food. Mooro deservedly gets MOM award. Steve gets pink glove.

The losing captains speech....

DAY 4- 6th OCTOBER

Pretty much everyone has gone on a Catamaran trip. I stay behind to sort out problems at work. Spend a bit of time with Abbos and Pither. No memories of this day probably because Abbo has me drinking in the afternoon...it all gets a bit hazy after that.

DAY 5- 7th OCTOBER

Game 2 has Shep in charge against Maxwell CC. We are bowled out for 110 or so and the oppo get them relatively easily. Ben bowls 3 overs- his longest spell of the season...and he doesn't get injured......pigs DO fly. Corby gets the pink glove for taking a wicket with his first ball....a horrendous long hop. Boycey, one of the Erith CC guys, gets MOM for his batting. Nice work! The rest of the evening is spent in a semi-drunken haze. It rains overnight..........

DAY 6- 8th OCTOBER

KEW V PICKWICK CC

R Patel, G Watson, N Houlton, R Varney, R Maier, C Moore

P Abbott, D Sheppard, R Ettridge, E Griffin, S David (c),

......and is still raining when I get up. Not a good start on the day of the Kensington Oval game. Nevertheless we set off early and find that the covers are on. Steve is the skip today and his mood lightens when the covers are taken off with enough time to play a 35 over game. We field first and its a great feeling to walk out onto the Oval with your team mates and with the whole tour party cheering. Once again we bowl and field well. Abbo takes a blinder at slip, Vanilla takes a steepler at long off, I dive into a huge puddle in the second over. Its very hot and humid and I struggle in the last couple of overs. Pickwick get 158 in their 35 and we are confident that we have a good chance. A good opening stand of 60 between Abbo and Rob is spoilt by the clatter of wickets after their departure. Noone really stays in long enough apart from Steve and when I come in at 10 we are in a hopeless position. The walk out to the middle is a memory I will always keep. Kew Hill erupt into cheers when I go out which is fantastic. The ball I received was hittable...so I hit it...straight into midwickets hands....the walk back..to silence.....is one to forget. Luckily Bergy has used my camcorder to record every second of my innings so that I can replay it for years to come. Cheers mate! Oh and Steve hits a lovely 6 into the Garfield Sobers stand....Bergy doesn't get that on video though. Once again the hospitality is superb. We spend the evening talking cricket with Jo who captained this years Canadian World Cup team. Later on I play the "What would have happened if I had had a look first before slogging' game......it lasts for several hours.

Abbo gets MOM. I get the dreaded glove.

Maier takes a skier at long on

Team celebrate

Abbo takes a blinder at slip

Ettridge takes one off Maier

Abbo/Maier start the chase

David and Ettridge scramble for runs..

DAY 7- 9TH OCTOBER

Glorious weather to start with today. spend the morning and early afternoon with Vanilla et al on Mullins Beach. Usual mix of beach cricket, Banks beer and couting thongs. We arrive at Maxwells ground in time for the second innings. Guy, skipper of the day, had won the toss and had already bowled Maxwell out for 75. Sadly 2 overs into our innings and the heavens open and the game is abandoned. We all scurry back to the resort for a snooze and a shower. Just before we leave for the local pub that evening we come across the remains of Watson, Heron and other sundry players who have spent the last few hours drinking rum with the Maxwell players. We leave them to their soon-to-be hangover misery. The rest of the evening is spent drinking copious amounts of wine amidst a 3 hour session of movie trivia.

Shep gets MOM for his 4 wickets and Mr. Williams gets the pinky for his 'absurd' hat.

DAY 8- 10TH OCTOBER

Spent in the company of the Moore's driving around the island. Keep bumping into Sprats and Grandad...or are they stalking us?? Chris and I dare Sally to start crying at will. She thinks of something sad and then bursts out crying....people around us think we are both b@stards. I only now notice that people keep calling Matten 'the Colonel'. I think he enjoys the title as he keeps saluting us as he walks past. I make a mental note to remind him to wear a hat next time he's in the sun. Evening at Oistins Fish Market- everything's served with "rice n peas" here...and if I eat another piece of flying fish......

DAY 9- 11 OCTOBER

Morning spent with Vanilla and Abbo at the Oval watching league game. Sean acts as perfect drinks waiter. Bar Manager greets me warmly on my arrival- apparently they had taken record bar takings when we played there 2 days earlier! Early afternoon finds Rob and myself watching the England v Turkey match....the beach is just yards away but even in Paradise the urge to watch Beckham and England is all-consuming. We have our end of tour dinner at the Surfside Beach Club. More rice n peas!!!! I decline. Awards are given out and a few fines (who won the Geoff Boycott award for team play again????). Somehow Ed the duck manages to mention my 'Golden' several times in his speech........what did he score at the Oval???? Quack quack!

DAY 10- 12 OCTOBER

The last full day here. And also our last game at the magnificent 3Ws Oval at the University of West Indies. Van the man is skip today and he looks a bit tense. I ask him why and he says that he doesn't have a spinner in the team. I suggest Hickers semi-jokingly (Mike- u owe me beer!!). Hickman proceeds to destroy the batting by taking 4 wickets with his grenades. The tax-dodgers finally get to a score of about 118. Once again we don't bat particularly well with only Abbo getting decent runs. I spend the Kew innings having a great time with the Uni groundsman who has spent the afternoon drinking rum and hurling abuse to players of both teams- all very good natured and when Ben hits a few at the end even he gets excited. Oppo bowler, Payne, takes 4 wickets all of them bowled- he takes Rossors wicket which was video taped by me- a quite spectacular scene of the off-stump cartwheeling out of the ground and nearly impaling their keeper!! MOM goes to Shane Hickman and I retrospectively give the pink glove to Mr. Maier just to wind him up. Holly erases all my photos on my digital camera accidentally- I console myself that the girl now owes me big time.....for many years to come! Chris, Sal and myself decide to avoid yet more jerk chicken and go off for a Ruby after the game. Not bad at all but bloody expensive!! Luckily Chris decides to treat me for all the driving I've done this week. Excellent!! The thought of an overnight flight from Barbados back to Gatwick in cramped conditions is now in my mind...........

DAY 11- 13 OCTOBER

Sadly our trip is now nearly at an end. Virgin check us in at the resort itself which means we get to have a few extra hours on the beach. Last minute shopping for me- 1000 marlboro lites. In no time at all, though, we are all heading off to the airport. Most of us quite sad on leaving the island. The airport is depressing- we are off home whilst hundreds of others are off to destinations like St Lucia, Tobago, Trinidad- I'm very jealous! Its been a great trip and one for memory lane. 50 people from 18 months to 70 and we all got on well and a had a damn fine time. And as I lean back in my seat my mind wanders to Cape Town in 2005....anyone for Springbok???

The Infamous 'Kew Hill' - site of many a supporters downhill slide into alcoholic oblivion